Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Finding Out Bad News....

Monday March 9th came. I was a ball of nerves! It was my 8th week, and we were finally going to the Dr. Finally going to see our baby, and I was so so so NERVOUS. SICK nervous. But, I was trying to convince myself that I was just psyching myself out for no reason.

So, we go in. sign in. wait. We had a bunch of appointments that day. I was just ready to get this over with. Good news, and out of there. Or so I hoped.

We go in. The sonographer placed the probe on me, and we saw a baby on the monitor with a strong heartbeat of 179 bpm. Sweet little picture. Except that the baby was in the smallest gestational sac I had ever seen. Way smaller than Daniel's, way smaller than any ultrasound picture I'd ever looked at. At this point I am thinking that it's a bad machine. My baby was measuring perfectly, and the heart was beating.

So, before she was all finished, I asked her: "Does everything look healthy?" She replied: "I am concerned that the amniotic fluid around your baby is quite low, but I will let the Dr. talk to you."
So, feeling a little insecure, I dress, and we go to wait for the Dr.

So, we wait for the Dr. and he comes in. He was very honest with us... the baby has a 50% chance of survival. Half of the time this thing corrects itself, and half of the time, it doesn't. So, we leave. My world has just altered a little bit.

From March 9th until the 16th, I was in a waiting period that was hard. I found out a lot about this particular issue, and knew that our chances were iffy. This was definitely a danger and we were in no way in the clear. I started to prepare and process. 

The morning of the 16th, I read this, prayed, and prepared to go to my appointment.

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