Thursday, March 19, 2009

I have not just talked about me…

You know since Mr. Canon came into our lives mid-December I have not just talked.. I have been busy putting pictures out there.. and I know some of you have minds like 2nd graders, if there are NO pictures, then we tune out!

Still with me? ;) Haha.

I sat in class today and watched videos of teachers using word boards, and etc. I will not bore you with the details, but the problem was: I WAS BORED with the concept of teaching!

 

Yes, I know.. I am in the program to do this.. one year from now I will so stinkin close to graduation I will be able to smell it… but I am still very hesitant. I cannot tell if I am nervous because I don’t want to teach, or if I KNOW that there are going to be a MILLION new things between now and one year from now. I will be teaching lessons (that I have NEVER taught before), meeting new teachers, administration, and I know this might sound silly, but DRIVING to a new school for the first time will be more than my nerves or stomach can bare… I mean C’Mon the interview process must be killer. . . 

Can I do this? Will I make it? Am I MEANT to do this???? Today I was sunken with the reality that this college stuff comes to an end, and I will be a responsible ADULT with like, a, …… real grown up JOB! hello!!! IM SCARED!

from old computer 2321

Then I think of this sweet smile of his, and I want so badly to help us out financially, and be on the same sleep pattern as he is.. then…. at the same time I hope I get to be a mommy to his beautiful children one day…. (Will I want to teach?) Will I have enough energy/time to serve him fully? Don’t mean to give TOO MUCH INFORMATION… BUT….. I want to available for him in his times of “need.” Will I have enough left in me?

Guys.. this is a huge time for me.. and as every day passes the burden gets heavy.. MY LIFE IS ABOUT TO CHANGE… and frankly…. I am pretty OK with the way things are… :)

Ok… I think I am done….

 

1 comment:

Shannon Maxey said...

Don't worry too much. It will be a big change, each stage of life is. But you will always find your way, just trust in the Lord. No matter what He has in store for you and your family you will adapt. You are in my prayers, praying the burden doesn't get too heavy. I love how you share your feelings with everyone. We all can learn something from you.

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